We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
