I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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