So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
