I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
