After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
