Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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