I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
