Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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