Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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