And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Come on in and take your pants off
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