just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
