You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
