Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
