end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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