i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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