oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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