Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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