But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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