She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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