I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
