i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
