U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
