i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
