i think my tv is drunk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
