Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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