Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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