I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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