he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
