today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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