3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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