they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
