Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
