i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
