i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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