But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
