i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
