it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
