I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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