The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
