I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
