I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
