Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Even my vagina gasped.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Will exercising make me less horny?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
