allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
