Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
