She said her name was "party"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My feet surprised me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize