so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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