I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My feet surprised me
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