My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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