Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
