is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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