just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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