Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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