I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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