My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
