We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
