I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
