I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
