Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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