Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you win again, gameday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
