Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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