she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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